i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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