If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
