i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize