at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
