I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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