could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
