my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He better not be in your backpack
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
