I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
