We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
