i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
