after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
