I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
