I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
