my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
