im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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