i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
