I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Randomize
