i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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