Four minutes until I can fart!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
NoShamevember. You game?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
