doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
