just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
