Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
