Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
