Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize