also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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