Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
