The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
