That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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