i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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