Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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