I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
we're so committed to being not committed
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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