the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
