We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
