i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
