How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
