I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
