Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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