And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
