I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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