i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
