no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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