there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
