D3 body, D1 cock
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
