The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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