It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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