THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize