Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
