Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
