yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
