I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
