Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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