its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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