Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I checked into jail on foursquare
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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