I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I want to be your penis for a week.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
