the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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