Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
