We're facebook friends in real life
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
