you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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