Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
