im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
