We're like a lot better than the average bears
i need an iv and a liver transplant
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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