i just google imaged poop.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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