After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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