Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
