I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you win again, gameday.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
