Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
nutella sex= disaster
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
